The Hazards of Glue
by Jesfrealo
Summary: A little incident involving Vin and super glue. P.S. It's set in the ATF universe.


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The Hazards of Glue

By Jesfrealo

Disclaimer: I wish I owned 'em but the sad truth is I don't.

Authors Note: This is just a silly fic. I'm in a silly mood, although for the life of me I can't imagine why since I'm studying for Midterms. Anyway, enjoy. 

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RING, RING, RING

Chris Larabee was sitting at his desk just outside team seven's bull pin, as it was known affectionately to all. He quickly moved to the phone as it continued to ring. "Chris Larabee, ATF," He answered.

"Chis it's knee Thin," 

"What, who the hell it this?" Chris asked trying to figure out if this was some elaborate prank or someone who had one serious speech impediment.

"Thin, Thin!" Answered the frantic voice on the other end. Suddenly the voice sounded frighteningly familiar to the team leader.

"Vin, is that you?" Chris asked almost afraid that the answer would be yes. While Vin was a great cop and the best sharpshooter he'd ever had the pleasure of working with, not to mention the fact that Vin was his best friend, the man was like a five-year-old. Come to think of it with the occasional exception of Josiah and Nathan all his men acted like small children. Chris had always thought the state should pay him extra for constantly babysitting six grown men. The only time they acted like adults, even a little bit, was when they were on a raid or arresting someone or something like that. However in the office, and out of the office, they were constantly acting like THE MOST IMMATURE PEOPLE Chris had met in his entire life. He had known something was wrong when the sharpshooter hadn't come in early with coffee for the two of them like he normally did. He had fervently hoped that the young man had slept in but he should have known better. Vin was always getting into trouble, they all were. Sometimes it was Vin and Ezra, like that fiasco with the two of them covering team three's office with molasses and sticking dead fish in it, or putting glue on Josiah's chair, it took them hours to get the former preacher freed, and boy, was he pissed. Once Vin, Ezra, and JD had managed to convince a woman Buck had been after for three month's that he was gay. She had even very publicly apologized to Buck at the bar/club the seven frequent, for chasing him and that she never imagined he was gay, and "it was so nice of his friends to tell her, she was so embarrassed." The look of pure homicidal mania that crossed his face was unforgettable. Other times it was Buck and JD just being generally stupid. Chris couldn't help but think of the time that he and the judge had walked into the judge's office only to find Buck and the Judge's secretary having sex in the judge's specially ordered leather chair. Chris could only imagine what Vin had gotten into this time.

"Yesth, yesth!" Vin frantically interrupted Chris' thoughts.

"Vin, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Ou, gota come help me! I gued my fthinger to muy tongue!" He yelled beginning to descend onto blind panic.

"Geez, Vin," Chris began with a laugh, "How in Hell did you manage that?" Chris asked finding the situation exceedingly funny and fair. After all the trouble and crap he'd had to deal with after Vin's numerous indiscretions he disserved a little retribution and it was even better that Vin had caused if for himself.

"Chis, thith ith not thunny! I NEED HELTH! I can't go outhide likke thith. Youth got to com help me!" 

Chris could no longer bite back his laughter, hell, he didn't want to. "You didn't answer my question, how did this disaster happen?" Chris said through his continuing laughter while ignoring Vin's plea for help.

"Jimmy Rodreguez, camme ovther lathst night. He had busted up hith toy tracktere. I s-thaid I would thix it fer him. Thso thith morning I was thooper gueing the broken wheel back on and gott thum gue on my thinger and then by an acthident touched my tongue! That thooper gue ith dantherous!"

Chris couldn't even muster up a response 'that thuper gue ith dantherous!' It would probably stick in his mind forever as one of the funniest things he'd ever heard in real life context. All he could do was sit there and laugh hysterically at his best friend and employee.

"Chis, thsop lathing! I needd ou to come here and helth me!!"

"Vin," Chris managed to speak through his laughter. "I'm working here, you know catching bad-guys making a living, that type of thing. I can't just get up and leave, now can I?" Chris stated still thoroughly enjoying himself at Vin's expense. 

"Chis, leath erk, I need helth thith ith an emergenthy!"

"Well, Vin if this is an 'emergenthy' why don't you call 911, that's what they're there for."

"Are you outh of yer mind?! I can't call the paramedics! Chis, dou ou know what it will ook like to thseea cop with hith thinger gued to hith tongue?! I'll look like a idiot!!"

" Well, Vin I don't know what to tell you. I mean if an idiot is someone who glues their finger to their tongue then there's not much you can do. I mean you did do that. Besides you know that the only people I work with are idiots, now I have one idiot at his house with his finger glued to his tongue and six idiots here. Now I can't very well leave six free to get into everything to take one to the doctor to get his finger unglued from his tongue." Chris stated mockingly with laughter evident in his voice.

"Chis, thith ith not a jthoke, I can't dwive mythelf like thith, my jeep ith a sthandard and I only got un hand," Vin said beginning to get very worried that Chris wasn't going to come help him.

"Sorry Cowboy, I guess your just going to have to call the paramedics, Bye" as Chris hung up the phone he heard BATHSTARD coming from the descending reciever.

~*~

At three-thirty Vin hadn't called since that morning and Chris was curious as to what happened when he heard the ding of the elevator stopping on their floor. Before he had a chance to think about it a very disgruntled Texan was at his door with a murderous glare and rivaled Larabee's own. "LARABEE YOU BASTARD!" Vin yelled loud enough for the other five to hear and come forward to listen to what was up with Vin. They'd been curious as to where he was all day, the Texan just about never got sick and on the rare occasions when he did most the time he would still come into work and Chris would end up ordering him home. "I HAD TO CALL THE PARAMEDICS. AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DID? WELL I'LL TELL YOU! THEY LAUGHED! THEN THEY TOOK ME TO THEY EMERGENCY ROOM WHERE I WAITED FOR SIX HOURS. IN THOSE SIX HOURS A FIVE YEARS OLD BOY ASKED HIS MOTHER WHY I WAS SUCKING ON MY FINGER, AN OLD MAN JUST STARED AND LAUGHED, A TEENAGE GIRL CALLED ME A FREAK, AND AN ENTIRE TROOP OF BOY SCOUTS LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY AT ME WHILE ONE OF THEM GOT STITCHES, NOT TO MENTION THE LAUGH THAT THE DOCTORS AND NURSES GOT AT A COP GLUEING HIS FINGER TO HIS TONGUE. THEN ONE OF THE DOCTORS TRIED TO PULL MY FINGER AND TONGUE APART, IT DIDN'T WORK. SO THEY ENDED UP CUTING MY FINGER AND THUMB APART WITH AN EXACTOKNIFE. AN EXACTOKNIFE!!" Vin finally ended his enraged rant and looked at Larabee who had managed to keep a straight face the entire time. However, it was behind him that caught his attention. He turned to see JD and Buck sniggering, Josiah with a bemused look, Nathan looking at him like he was the biggest idiot to walk the Earth, and Ezra with an very serious yet sarcastic look on his face that Vin knew meant he was going to make some wise ass comment.

"Mr. Tanner," He laughed, "It is not wise to yell out such embarrassing stories,"

Vin gasped and turned back to Larabee who was outwardly smiling. "You didn't tell them?" Vin whispered loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Even I ain't that mean, Cowboy," Chris stated quietly with a mischievous tone to his voice.

"So Junior," Buck walked up to Vin and put his arm around Vin's shoulders. "Ya glued your tongue to your finger, smooth, real smooth." 

"I ain't never gonna hear the end of this."

Another Author's Note: Sorry if it was a little hard to understand what Vin was saying. I could think of no other way to write his lines. Sorry. Please Review whether you loved it, hated it, or just fell asleep reading it.


End file.
